Conflict of interest

As a stay at home mom, taking time for yourself is one of the hardest and most needed things to accomplish. We give and give and give until we crash and burn. Then (if your like me) you throw a little hissy fit, buy something(s) you don't really need and/or go on a cleaning or cooking strike until you feel refreshed and revitalized. And the cycle starts all over again. Many of us realize this doesn't work so we take part time jobs, get a hobby, or schedule time to do something fun for ourselves. 

I have tried all three and none seem to go as smoothly as I would like. I have a ton of hobbies I start with good intentions and never finish. I worked a part time job for a year a a half and realized it wasn't for me. And who really wants to take time out of their busy day to come watch 2 rowdy kids for free while I go and have a little fun? 

Blogging has become my number 1 hobby at the moment and it is easier and has kept it's momentum for going on 3 months now. But of course, it would be since I'm writing about my kids and the activities that take up the majority of my time. 

Even still there are conflicts that keep me from writing as much as I would like to. For instance, I can't write when the girls are awake because they need me and when a thought is interrupted by a child trying to get my attention I don't always respond pleasantly. Which isn't fair to them. That leaves me 2 hours during the middle of the day during nap time.

That might be okay but I also do my cleaning during nap time. I have reminders in my phone that are set up to tell me when to clean something based on frequency. Either weekly, bi-weekly or monthly. I can't do top to bottom cleaning in one day because that just overwhelms me so it may take me 5 days to clean our 2 bathrooms. So if I have a reminder that I have to clean something I do that instead of writing. 

I also have it set up to remind me to do a budget and lesson calendar every month and to do a grocery list every 2 weeks. I don't do every week shopping. I don't have time to spend hours at the two different grocery stores I shop at every weekend. So if I have to do those things I don't write.

That leaves the hours I'm awake after the girls go to bed. Between 8:30 and 10:00 when Josh wants to go to bed. Well my brain doesn't work during those times. I veg out and can hardly make a coherent sentence let alone a whole post about something. 

But somewhere around 10:30, laying in bed, I get my second wind and my mind goes crazy with ideas. Inspiration hits and I cannot shut my brain off. Well this is just a tad annoying. I love sleep and I don't know that I've ever willingly got up before the girls unless I had something I needed to do before they got up. That's why I never have on makeup and my hair is usually a mess. I'd rather sleep than get all dolled up to impress the walls of my house, my kids or whoever I may encounter once or twice a week when I get out of the house. So when my brain starts buzzing with ideas all I can really think about is "I want to go to sleep!"

Now when I choose not to ignore my inspiration I do my best thinking and processing but I struggle to get by the next day. 

There is always a sacrifice somewhere. If you take time for yourself, your house suffers. If you work on your house, your sanity suffers. If you take time for yourself and work on the house the school work and the kids suffer. And not surprisingly I have read and heard this from many stay at home moms. 

So what do we do? Well, you can accept that your house won't be as clean as you like, that you just don't have time to do a hobby or a job, you just don't have time to prepare lessons or homeschool or any of the other variations and you move on with your life leaving those other things by the wayside. 

Or you can find a way to make it all work. If anyone has mastered how to do that without sacrificing something else, let me know, would ya?