Get set...

Wednesday was box day! Before church Delores' curriculum was delivered and I was one eager lady to get back home and attack that box like a lion on steroids.  I can't explain the excitement when materials arrive on your doorstep. It's a feeling only homeschoolers experience I guess. I get the same feeling when I see back to school supplies out at Walmart. Quite the opposite feeling of the dread that school teachers feel at the same sight. In fact, even as a youngan, I had an odd love for school supplies. I guess I was destined to be a homeschooler from the very beginning. But, I digress.

After I rummaged through all the packaging paper and bubble wrap resembling a child on Christmas morning, I found this:

29 brand new books (1 on backorder), 30 individually ziploced material kits, a student activity book, a parent guide book, as well as a world map, paint, playdoh, construction paper, yarn, magnifying glass, paper bowls, a plastic cup and other little goodies. Ladies and gentlemen I may never have to buy or make anything for lessons again! Everything I could possibly need except for a composition notebook and pencils was in that box. It was glorious.

The only thing I didn't like was that everything was out of order. Well, that just would not do. So, after I vacuumed every cloth surface of my house and hand scubbed my hall bathroom's walls, baseboards and floors (I was unusually ambitious yesterday) I did this:

I laid out every book with its material kit in numerical order by unit number with the additional materials in front. Also, the very last row has the 4 holiday related books and materials which have no order other than to be inserted into the week with which it correlates. (Also note the mountain of packaging paper and bubble wrap in the background still carpeting my living room as I write this). In the words of my father-in-law, I got "highly organized."

Then I put it all neatly back into the box, still organized, that came inside yet a bigger box. Materials on one side; books on the other so that all I need to do is pick from the top of the pile with each new unit.

Viola! The holiday unit books and materials are currently on the floor next to the box because there was no real way to put them in any order. I'm sure I'll find a permanent home for them soon.

Now that I have taken care of my compulsive need to organize I can't help but feel like I should be doing something else. For two years when I got the girls' lessons ready it was a week long event. Researching, calendaring, list making, shopping, putting together materials and finally presenting the lessons.  Now: all I do is read some notes the night before,  take some stuff out of a box and present the lesson. Thirty minute max prep work. That feels really strange. In truth I never really wanted it that way.  I always pictured me putting together lessons and never really wanting anything that came with workbooks. And while this does not come with workbooks it still feels unnatural to just do what someone else tells me to do. But I guess that is my nature. Always the rebel. :)

In any event, after reading over the first unit's lessons, I'm still pretty confident we made the right choice for Delores and I am excited to get started next week with a short week after labor day. 

Tune into tomorrow for a look into Lydia's upcoming lessons for the month of September.

What if's

Around the time "normal, " children start heading back to school each year people start to ask what it is I plan to do with my kids when they reach "school age." I'm very use to it and have almost come to expect it. Afterall, homeschooling takes up a large portion of our lives and I understand the natural curiosity.

During this time I get to reflect on that question myself and study my heart to see if I really do want to continue homeschooling when the government says I have to formally teach them. I see all the Facebook posts with photos of people's kids headed off for their first day of school and reading about the parents' bittersweet feelings of excitement from getting rid of them and sadnessnes from seeing their little ones getting bigger and I think "I will never get to experience that."

I find myself asking all the "what if," questions and feeling like I will miss out on the great stay-at-home-mommy reward. I may never do anything for myself or have a career again. I may never finish Lydia's painting or Delores' quilt and I will be stuck with my girls all the time and never have a moment of peace! Of course, this is an exaggeration but that is what goes through my mind when I have to think about teaching them EVERYTHING they need to know and I have that overwhelming feeling of "am I really going to be able to do it?"

On top of that there are a lot of doubters and judgemental people who really don't care. They just want to let you know that they don't believe you can do it and really don't understand why you would choose to homeschool when public school systems are so awesome now and it is just so much easier to leave your kids' lives in someone else's hands who juggles 25 to 30 kids at the same time 5 days of the week in a building that strangely resembles a prison (Did anyone pick up on the sarcasm?). Those are the people who's mother's brother's aunt's cousin twice removed knew someone who was homeschooled and they were just so far behind and couldn't even graduate so they assume every homeschooler is like that and your poor kids are going to turn out that way too. Even though your kids are presently "above average." (Tell me exactly how that is logical reasoning).

After working through my feelings with my more emotionally stable partner and he reminds me of why we chose to do this in the first place (see "How we got here," for a good list of those reasons) there is no doubt in my mind that my first option will always be to homeschool our girls. When the girls reach a mature enough age I plan on giving them the choice,  but until that time comes the only way we would choose a different path is if there is an extreme medical emergency, I die, or God tells me that this is no longer what He wants for us.

And let me just take this moment to say that I think no less of people who send their kids to public or private schools. Every family has different needs and I think its great that those options are available.

Yes, it is still scary and yes, I am still self-conscious but there are tons of resources out there for parents who want to take this homeschooling thing seriously and as long as I take this one day at a time and do what is best for our girls we will be just fine. And since all my readers are understanding and supportive, when you meet one of those doubting, judgmental people do me a favor and encourage them to do a little research on the benefits and success stories of homeschooling since it is very questionable that the person they are referring to even existed. That would help me out immensely when curiosity peaks again next fall.

Get ready...

Last week we took our first time ever family vacation! While Wrightsville beach was fun, relaxing and every thing we needed, I was happy to get home and anxious to get back to our school work. So, Sunday night I ordered Delores' new curriculum from Moving Beyond the Page and will be receiving the boxes of goodies in 1 to 3 weeks. I'm hoping the following Monday l will have absorbed everything and am ready to give the first lesson. After all, for 2 years I created lesson plans from scratch in a weeks time and since this new curriculum is all inclusive it should be a breeze. I hope.

In my last post Changing the Tune, I mentioned I wasn't sure what I was going to do with Lydia because I felt like she still benefited from Montessori lessons but I didn't know if I could juggle two different curriculums. Well, I think I have decided that I am going to stick with Montessori lessons with her and just take a more laid back approach with it.  Reason being is that I've already made and planned her lessons since she will be following Delores' outline from our lessons from last year and this year. That takes a lot of the work out for me. Then depending on her learning style and what I feel will be most beneficial to her, I may change it next year.

Taking these few months off from formal lessons has really taught me something about each of the girls. Delores still learns a lot from everyday life if I am concious to point out the things I want her to learn and from books so, I definitely feel I've made the right choice with her new curriculum this year.  Lydia has an amazing memory when things are verbalized and for order. She immediately implements what you teach her in her own life. Therefore, I feel like Montessori would still be the best curriculum for her. However, both the girls learn a lot from real life experiences. So, remembering to apply lessons in real life instead of doing lessons at a table or in front of a mat are going to be the best learning experience for both of them.

I still have my hopes on incorporating bible time and possibly latin into their curriculum as the year progresses. But I will take it day by day and always do what is best for them.

A new school year gives you a chance to a fresh start and I look foward to what this next year holds for us and what my little ladies will accomplish as they quickly approach 3 and 4 year olds.

Changing the tune

Recently I've been faced with the most difficult decision as a homeschooler. Whether or not to continue giving montessori lessons. From previous posts you can tell Delores has lost interest in the lessons and I have been trying to decide if I should stop trying to introduce new activities all together or just take a break for a while. Poor Josh has put up with me talking about this almost everyday for the past week. 

This was an extremely difficult thing for me to consider because for the last 2 years my life has revolved around Montessori homeschooling. This is the only way I know how to teach. How would I give a lesson on something without a tray or a basket? How would I know what to teach without a lesson plan or an outline? The thought of doing anything besides this terrifies me. But then I remembered what other homeschoolers have told me. Children change. Learning styles change, situations change and family dynamics change. What worked for you once before may not be the best thing for you now. While that may still be hard for me to accept it is very true in our situation. 

I had to face the fact that Delores had gotten all she was going to get out of montessori. Then I had to look at what was most important for us. Yes I thought it was super awesome that she could grade colors and identify things blindfolded, but was that the most important thing I needed to teach her right now? No. I still think those things have their benefit but those things could wait. The things we wanted Delores to understand are the things we use everyday. Skills for life. Kindness, compassion, selflessness, understanding, basic math, a love for reading, a freedom to be herself, a love for God, good manners and a respect for other people. We don't need montessori lessons for that. 

Also, Josh pointed out that Montessori had consumed my life. I never wanted a classroom environment or my home to feel like a daycare and, by God, 4 years into this mommy business and that is exactly what my home feels like. I spend my weekends looking for materials, my nights making or getting lessons together and my days planning and researching. I've completely lost sight of the things I enjoy doing and of myself. After this was pointed out to me I realized that while I LOVE montessori it just wasn't for us as a full time homeschooling curriculum. I just can't devote that amount of time to something that isn't for me. It puts too much pressure on me as a mommy and I do not react well to pressure unfortunately.

Fortunatly, I feel like God has led me to another curriculum for Delores that teaches things through reading popular children's book and doing spinoff activities with the theme from the book in mind called "Moving Beyond the Page." It is for 4-5 years olds but Josh and I both decided she was ready for something more advanced and the child can sit and read the looonnngest books without tiring and retain almost everything. This week and last week we read a Dora book we picked up at the library twice a day and today she recited the whole thing to me as if she were reading the book. That is why we decided to go with this curriculum. It isn't available for purchase until July 1st, but I will keep you posted on how it is working out once we get it.

As for Lydia I haven't quite figured out what to do with her lessons. I don't think she would benefit from Delores' curriculum because it is near impossible to get the child to sit through a book and she isn't artsy so she wouldn't get much out of the activities. I still think she would benefit for montessori lessons but my issue is how do I do both at the same time?

I can't figure that out until Delores' curriculum is in my hands and I can see how it works and how much of me is really necessary in the lessons. So, until then we are just taking a break and enjoying the free time we have with one another. 

I still plan to blog periodically about what we've been doing while we are getting adjusted so keep checking back for updates. I hope by August we will be back in full swing with our homeschooling once again. 

Ps: Just for the fun of it, here are some pictures from what we've been doing lately. 

Playing

Washing a tea set

Making daddy's Father's Day gift from the girls. 

Enjoying the girl with a thousand expressions. 

Weekly highlights--6/8

This week we did absolutely no work in front of the mat. It was definitely a thinking outside of the mat kind of week for me. Delores recently flat out told me the other day that she did not like doing lessons. It broke my heart and I've been struggling with what to do with this for a while now. I could sense months ago that she just did not enjoy doing lessons but I think she keep doing them to please me. I think she would have done some lessons last week if I asked her to, but I just didn't feel like struggling with it. I am still trying to find ways to sneak in lessons were I see opportunities present themselves. Kind of like sneaking vegetables into a meal without kids knowing it. They are still benefiting from it but they don't even realize it's happening. So, here are some activities I snuck in this past week.

Transferring water with a dropper for the first time (practical life)

Lacing shapes (practical life). Even rosy was intrigued by this 

Pouring lentils between two small pitchers or, in our case, one cup measuring cups

Cutting cherries to get the seeds out

Love this face

Mostly we just spent some good quality time with one another while I tried to figure out exactly what I'm going to do with Delores' bomb she dropped on me.

Painting pottery

I have to admit I have not been very motivated to write this week. I decided last week that I was done getting frustrated with Delores about not wanting to do lessons. I'm leaving lesson time in her hands and in the meantime I'm trying to sneak in activities to fill her time with play and activities that incorporate Montessori principles. 

The first was a trip to a local pottery painting establishment, the "Color Clay Cafe," located on East North Street in Greenville. 

Delores chose a cupcake which she painted pink of course. The child is obsessed with sweets and the color pink. 

Lydia chose a little hamster which she painted different shades of blue. She saw that little hamster on the shelf and picked it up, hugged it and said "I love this mouse." That was it. I would have bought her that little hamster if it was $50.00. Thankfully it was only $9 and some change.

I really didn't expect to see any learning going on with this trip. I had only planned this trip for fun. I was surprised when I saw these faces:

That's my dead giveaway sign that there's some learning going on and to take a step back and observe. Lydia worked for a good 30 mins. Delores for a good hour. 

We were there for about an hour and a half and never felt rushed. The whole trip cost us $25.00. We went on a Wednesday which is kids day so we got the 3% studio fee for free. With all the awesome concentration going on I definitely feel like it was a good price and well worth it. 

If you are thinking of taking your kids there wait until they are 2 and 1/2 to 3 years old (I saw some stuff I'd like to paint too) and expect to play by the establishment's rules. I was a little disappointed by the amount of rules and regulations put on the children instead of just letting them do their thang. Like don't paint these colors together. Don't get it too thick. Don't do hand prints or footprints without the employees helping. Don't, don't, don't. Huff.  

But anyway here's how they turned out:

They fire it and 10 days later you can pick them up. Delores decided that this was going to be daddy's Father's Day gift. Hahaha, very thoughtful right? We'll see if it goes in our room or it ends up in her room. I thought that was a sweet gesture though.

As promised here are pictures of what they look like when we got them home

Delores has already decided the cupcake is going in her room. :)

Conflict of interest

As a stay at home mom, taking time for yourself is one of the hardest and most needed things to accomplish. We give and give and give until we crash and burn. Then (if your like me) you throw a little hissy fit, buy something(s) you don't really need and/or go on a cleaning or cooking strike until you feel refreshed and revitalized. And the cycle starts all over again. Many of us realize this doesn't work so we take part time jobs, get a hobby, or schedule time to do something fun for ourselves. 

I have tried all three and none seem to go as smoothly as I would like. I have a ton of hobbies I start with good intentions and never finish. I worked a part time job for a year a a half and realized it wasn't for me. And who really wants to take time out of their busy day to come watch 2 rowdy kids for free while I go and have a little fun? 

Blogging has become my number 1 hobby at the moment and it is easier and has kept it's momentum for going on 3 months now. But of course, it would be since I'm writing about my kids and the activities that take up the majority of my time. 

Even still there are conflicts that keep me from writing as much as I would like to. For instance, I can't write when the girls are awake because they need me and when a thought is interrupted by a child trying to get my attention I don't always respond pleasantly. Which isn't fair to them. That leaves me 2 hours during the middle of the day during nap time.

That might be okay but I also do my cleaning during nap time. I have reminders in my phone that are set up to tell me when to clean something based on frequency. Either weekly, bi-weekly or monthly. I can't do top to bottom cleaning in one day because that just overwhelms me so it may take me 5 days to clean our 2 bathrooms. So if I have a reminder that I have to clean something I do that instead of writing. 

I also have it set up to remind me to do a budget and lesson calendar every month and to do a grocery list every 2 weeks. I don't do every week shopping. I don't have time to spend hours at the two different grocery stores I shop at every weekend. So if I have to do those things I don't write.

That leaves the hours I'm awake after the girls go to bed. Between 8:30 and 10:00 when Josh wants to go to bed. Well my brain doesn't work during those times. I veg out and can hardly make a coherent sentence let alone a whole post about something. 

But somewhere around 10:30, laying in bed, I get my second wind and my mind goes crazy with ideas. Inspiration hits and I cannot shut my brain off. Well this is just a tad annoying. I love sleep and I don't know that I've ever willingly got up before the girls unless I had something I needed to do before they got up. That's why I never have on makeup and my hair is usually a mess. I'd rather sleep than get all dolled up to impress the walls of my house, my kids or whoever I may encounter once or twice a week when I get out of the house. So when my brain starts buzzing with ideas all I can really think about is "I want to go to sleep!"

Now when I choose not to ignore my inspiration I do my best thinking and processing but I struggle to get by the next day. 

There is always a sacrifice somewhere. If you take time for yourself, your house suffers. If you work on your house, your sanity suffers. If you take time for yourself and work on the house the school work and the kids suffer. And not surprisingly I have read and heard this from many stay at home moms. 

So what do we do? Well, you can accept that your house won't be as clean as you like, that you just don't have time to do a hobby or a job, you just don't have time to prepare lessons or homeschool or any of the other variations and you move on with your life leaving those other things by the wayside. 

Or you can find a way to make it all work. If anyone has mastered how to do that without sacrificing something else, let me know, would ya?